rabioheab:

are there actually people out there who make their beds every morning or is that just a myth 

gotham-pretty:

If we’re not friends on snapchat ad me for more neat stories @lexicution3r

nuditea:

got no problem with watching a full season of tv in one sitting but when it comes time to pick a movie im like “am i really ready to pay attention to something for two hours”

donatellavevo:

an emotional roller coaster from start to finish

nofaddano:

guy: psstt! look at me while you suck. i wanna see those eyes
girl: *looks up*
guy: image

elizajumel:

the first female chinese immigrant to america was a sixteen-year-old girl who was part of a cultural exhibit where she sat in a life-size diorama and people watched her eat with chopsticks while wearing silk clothes and that’s really all you need to know about the commodification of chinese women

3rd grade

friend: *whispering* if you're stupid say "what"

me: what

friend: OH MAN

OH

OH DEAR FUCKING CHRIST

I GOT YOU SO GOOD, THAT WAS AWESOME

SWEET, SWEET DICKS IN MY MOUTH. I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED THIS HARD. EVER.

JESUS. JESUS HELP ME.

privilegetoengtranslationservice:

logicd:

iwriteaboutfeminism:

Congress is what happens when you put white people in charge.

And Africa is what happens when you put black people in charge.

Translation:

Clearly I don’t know that Africa had many great and thriving civilizations before Europeans came and fucked that up.